What Do You Want ?

I do realized that we can never be together, no matter how no matter why. Like you said, our way of life is like train rels... always going together but can't become one... but it's okay I accept that, can't do anything about that didn't we?

But when I knew that you didn't have anything left for me in your heart... it's so painful to me, so f*ckin hurt. All we've been going through together just some story you left behind. Did I have to stay, waiting something that didn't have any mean to you?

Now you call me as a friend who want to erase you from my life ? Friend...?

Aku terlanjur mencintaimu, sehingga tak mampu menerima gelar kehormatan yang kau sematkan. Ego ini terlalu besar untuk mengharap cintamu, sedang waktu terus menggerus menghantarku ke akhir cerita yang tidak dapat aku hindari.

Cerita kita telah usai, seiring gebrakan meja dan ungkapan "enggak..." yang telah kau lontarkan. Aku mundur dari hidupmu, dari semua tentangmu. Aku sangat sangat menyadari siapa diriku, tak pernah pantas aku bersemayam disudut hatimu...

Sosok yang aku cintai tak lagi kutemukan pada dirimu, walau aku coba pandang parasmu tapi aku tak mengenal siapa kamu. Yang aku lihat hanyalah sosok yang meracuni hatiku setiap detik setiap waktu mengerat setiap desiran darah yang mengalir disekujur tubuh.

So what else do you want ? Everything going back to normal ? I became your friend, laughing together once again ? No... I can't become that person. You can pick anyone else you desire to be your friend who dumb and stupid enough to be dumped and still fuckin around on your feet like a dog, hoping that someday they can be your lover or be your guardian angel...

I choose to leave all this memory behind, continuing my life whether I like it or not because it's my destiny without you in my heart. I forgive you, after all you've done... but I must let you go, otherwise my soul will suffer till I die. My life must goes on, all I can say is good bye, be a good girl and just forget everything about me I am nothing just some piece of shit... a stinky shit


1 comment:

  1. Seperti kisahku....

    Kejadian demi kejadian kembali terbayang, bagaikan sebuah film lawas dalam warna hitam putih yang diputar ulang.. Lucu? Iya, Seneng? Iya, sedih..?? Iya..

    Menyesal??? Ummm... Cannot answer..
    Kalau aku bilang menyesal, aku akan menyalahkan semuanya dari awal.. Yang pada akhirnya tidak akan terfokus pada satu hal.. Dan itu artinya aku menyalahkan diri sendiri..
    Andai aku punya penghapus, yang bisa menghapus bagian yang tidak menyenangkan...

    Hhhh... Keinginan tinggalah keinginan.. Harapan tinggalah harapan.. Impian tinggalah impian...

    Bukan putus asa.. Tapi memang tidak mungkin diperjuangkan..
    Bukan!! Bukan tidak mungkin...
    Tapi tidak bisa...
    This movie was end...
    But I still stay here.. And watch the empty screen... Still hope, that the movie will be continue..
    I beg to the director, to continue that movie.. But he said that movie was end.. He don't have any scripts to continuing the story...
    And then I have to realize that the movie was really end...
    And suddenly my tears are dripping..
    I don't understand... Perhaps because the movie is too sad...

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